The Sharing Dilemma: How Much Should You Open Up When You’re Struggling?
The Loneliness of Struggling in Silence
There was a time when I felt like I was carrying everything alone. It wasn’t that I didn’t have friends or family—it was that I didn’t feel like I wanted to open up to them. Work kept me busy, but outside of that, I felt incredibly alone.
If you’re struggling emotionally, you might be wondering:
Do I tell people what I’m going through?
How much should I share?
Who is actually safe to talk to?
It’s important to find the right balance between staying private and seeking support.
1. Oversharing vs. Under-sharing: Finding the Middle Ground
When Sharing Too Much Can Backfire
Sometimes, when we’re in pain, we overshare because we desperately need validation or relief. But unloading your struggles onto the wrong people can leave you feeling exposed or dismissed.
Signs you may be oversharing:
You share deeply personal issues with acquaintances or casual colleagues.
You feel regret or embarrassment after opening up.
The person you confide in offers unhelpful or dismissive responses.
When Hiding Everything Becomes Harmful
On the other hand, keeping everything bottled up can make you feel isolated and unsupported. Signs you may be under-sharing:
You tell yourself “No one would understand” or “I don’t want to burden anyone.”
You feel emotionally exhausted from holding everything inside.
You crave connection but don’t know where to start.
The goal is to find a healthy middle ground—sharing with the right people, in the right way.
2. Choosing Your ‘Safe People’
Not everyone deserves access to your pain. Some people genuinely want to help, while others may not know how to respond. To determine who is safe to talk to, ask yourself:
Do they listen without judgment?
Have they supported me in the past?
Do I feel comfortable and respected around them?
If the answer is no, that’s okay. You don’t have to force vulnerability.
3. When (and How) to Talk About It at Work
Should you tell your boss? It depends on your work environment and how your struggles are affecting your performance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider:
Keeping it brief: “I’m dealing with some personal challenges right now, and I might need a bit of flexibility.”
Asking for specific support: Adjusted deadlines, mental health days, or remote work options.
Remember, you don’t owe anyone your full story—but you are allowed to advocate for yourself.
4. The Loneliness Factor: What to Do When You Feel Isolated
If you don’t have people in your immediate life who feel safe to talk to, here are some other ways to find support:
Professional support: Therapists, counselors, and online therapy platforms.
Community groups: Support groups (in-person or online) where people share similar struggles.
Journaling: Writing things out can be a powerful way to process emotions when talking feels too hard.
Conclusion: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
If you’re struggling, know this: You don’t have to go through it alone. The right people do exist, and there is strength in reaching out—even in small ways.
Maybe today, that just means texting a friend. Maybe it means booking a therapy session. Whatever it is, let yourself take that step.
Because we all deserve support. ❤️