Holding It Together: How to Keep Going When Life Feels Heavy
When You’re Struggling, But Life Doesn’t Stop
There was a time when I got really good at hiding how much I was struggling. I kept showing up to work, smiling at the right moments, and keeping busy. It helped me function—but it didn’t help me heal.
If you’re in a tough emotional place and still trying to juggle work, responsibilities, and everyday life, I hear you. Maybe you don’t want to burden others, or maybe you don’t even know how to put your feelings into words. Maybe, like me, you’ve found that keeping busy helps—but at the same time, it doesn’t really help.
Sometimes it would be nice to find a log cabin in the bush/forest to retreat to - to heal, think and re-charge. But most people have jobs, kids to get to school or care and a long list of ‘things to do” - life doesn’t always make this possible.
So how do you hold it together when life feels heavy? How do you keep functioning without shutting yourself off completely?
1. The Survival Phase: How to Keep Going When You Feel Overwhelmed
Structure and Routine as Anchors
When emotions feel out of control, structure can be a lifeline. Keeping a basic routine—waking up at the same time, going to work, exercising even a little—creates a sense of normalcy. Even if your heart isn’t in it, these small actions remind your brain that life is still moving forward.
But be mindful: There’s a fine line between keeping up healthy routines and using work or busyness to avoid facing your emotions.
Micro-Moments of Rest and Recovery
When you’re emotionally drained, grand self-care gestures like taking a holiday or revamping your entire lifestyle can feel impossible. Instead, look for micro-moments of rest:
Five deep breaths before your next meeting.
A five-minute walk outside between tasks.
Letting yourself listen to a song that lifts you up.
A short journaling session before bed.
You don’t have to do everything—just something.
The ‘Professional Face’ Dilemma
Should you tell your boss? Your colleagues? It depends.
If work is a helpful distraction and you don’t need accommodations, it’s okay to keep it private.
If your emotional state is making it hard to focus or perform, consider letting a trusted manager know.
You don’t have to spill everything—sometimes a simple “I’m dealing with some personal matters right now, and I might need some flexibility” is enough.
2. The Mindset Shift: Acknowledging Your Pain Without Letting It Consume You
It’s Okay to Feel, But Not to Dwell
One of the best things I learned was this: Emotions are like waves. They come and go. You don’t have to fight them, but you also don’t have to let them pull you under.
Instead of resisting emotions or over-identifying with them, try acknowledging them with a little distance:
Instead of “I’m broken,” try “I’m feeling broken right now, but that doesn’t mean I always will.”
Instead of “I’ll never be okay,” try “Right now, I’m struggling, but things can change.”
This small shift can stop you from getting lost in the pain.
Reframing Your Perspective: Hope as a Strategy
When you’re deep in a tough time, it’s hard to imagine things getting better. But one thing that helped me was picturing myself six months into the future.
Ask yourself:
If things were just a little better, what would that look like?
What’s one small step I could take to move toward that?
You don’t need to have a full recovery plan—just a tiny step forward.
Just Keep Moving
Holding it together doesn’t mean ignoring your emotions—it means finding ways to move through them. Small steps matter. Tiny moments of care and structure matter.
If today feels impossible, just focus on the next small thing. Take a deep breath. Step outside for fresh air. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think. ❤️